Friday, October 1, 2010

So You Want to Start a Web Log

So you want to start a web log, hmmm? Well it's not easy, let me tell you. First of all, you have to read somebody else's blog and said to yourself "Oh, hell, I could do that". Then, you need a computer with internet access. No, sunshine, cave paintings and carrier pigeons will not suffice (unless of course, your blog is about cave paintings or carrier pigeons). Then you need a subject - a regular, consistent theme. Blogs can't be about just anything at all, can they?

Next, you need to know where to find an audience. It should go without saying that you can't just drag people in off the street at gunpoint, tie them to a chair and force them to read what you've written - well, I'm not allowed to anymore.

Family is a good place to start. Your mother always has to read what you write - unless she has the same excuse that my mom has (and she's only used that one once). Ex-spouses, people to whom you owe money, crown prosecutors, the lonely, the sexually frustrated, the politically naive, the socially awkward, the disenfranchised, the isolated, the criminally insane...any of the above is a potential follower of your blog.

Just remember that you have great power and commensurate responsibility, that you are a guiding force for good or for ill, that there will be people depending upon your every utterance to decide what to do with the remainder of their pitiful, pathetic lives.

Oh yeah - and remember to click on "Create Blog" in the top right corner of this page.

Bernard Schwartz (aka Tony Curtis)
June 3, 1925 to September 29, 2010

Tony Curtis died in Las Vegas on Wednesday at the age of eighty-five. He had six children by six marriages, none of whom liked him.

Curtis was a Hollywood movie star who had a successful sixty-year career, despite having no perceptible talent. Okay, he was pretty good in The Defiant Ones, Spartacus, Some Like It Hot, The Sweet Smell of Success, The Great Race, and The Boston Strangler. Oh yeah, The Vikings and Taras Bulba were all right too...

So he played the flute and painted. So the Museum of Modern Art has a collection of his paintings - so what? I bet Turner Classic Movies is going to spend a whole day showing his damned movies! It's a shame I have nothing better to do that day.


  1. Hey Lee,
    You make this blog thing sound almost easy.... I might have to try it ... someday.

  2. This blog thing is a breeze, Annie. Just do what I do - make your mind a blank, and Bob's your mother's stepsister's third ex-husband...